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Community article
Meet Team forbenz
by Ascent · 2012-07-28
Hello, gentle denizens of shakuras. Today I would like to take the opportunity to introduce to you an up-and-coming team out of League 3.2. This team is called "forbenz". Top managers are raving about team forbenz. Here are some things they are saying.
"pro" - forbenz (NB)
"forbenz ... will win, I guarantee you." - Whisperkill (Toss Legend)
"I'm looking forward to ... forbenz" - Cesar (Monster)
So, right now you are surely thinking to yourself, "Wow, this team sounds really great! I wonder what members comprise such an amazing team?"
Luckily for you, I am here to bring you an exclusive interview with a member of this powerful team.
Interviewer: Hello, thank you for taking the time to do this interview.
BurNIng : It's no problem. I was going to meet up with some friends so we could go over to the Prime.WE team house and graffiti giant penises all over it, but that can wait until later.
Interviewer: Haha! Great! It is clear that despite your advanced years, you have not lost your youthful spark!
BurNIng : Yes, that's true. I often get compliments from people on my youthful appearance and demeanor. Most people think I am actually only 22. When I tell them that I am 24 they are shocked.
Interviewer: To what do you attribute your incredible vigor?
BurNIng : I masturbate very frequently.
Interviewer: Very interesting! How often do you masturbate?
BurNIng : I usually masturbate after each meal. It helps me warm up my wrist for practicing Starcraft. Sometimes I let my teammate NalZa do it for me if I am feeling too tired. He is very enthusiastic and always offering to help.
Interviewer: Ah! Such camaraderie! It brings a tear to my eye! Since you mentioned Starcraft, I feel it is only appropriate we delve into that topic. How do you feel your season has gone so far?
BurNIng : It has been pretty successful. I suffered two losses, but I think I could probably have won those games if things had gone my way.
Interviewer: Interesting! So you spend a lot of time analyzing your losses? What do you feel you did wrong in those games?
BurNIng : I don't know. I was pretty drunk so I don't remember them. But I think if I had been sober I could probably have won.
Interviewer: Such confidence! Absolutely inspiring! You used to be a member of team NB, who are currently competing in Proleague. Do you still maintain relationships with any of your ex-teammates?
BurNIng : Of course. We are very close. The environment in the NB team house is very harsh, which I think brought us together and allowed us to form close bonds of friendship.
Interviewer: How would you say the environment in team NB differed from that of your current team?
BurNIng : The manager of the NB house is very strict. He uses electroshock therapy to make sure his players never allow their APM to drop below 300. He also holds their families hostage and will feed them to his pet bear if they don't practice enough. I saw it happen once. He put them in a cement mixer and made a delicious pie before he fed it to the bear. Watching it made me a little bit hungry.
Interviewer: Unconventional methods, perhaps, but none can deny their effectiveness!
Well, that concludes this interview. I would like to thank BurNIng for his time. And thank you, the reader, for your support!
If you would like to request any questions to be asked in future interviews, please do so.
"pro" - forbenz (NB)
"forbenz ... will win, I guarantee you." - Whisperkill (Toss Legend)
"I'm looking forward to ... forbenz" - Cesar (Monster)
So, right now you are surely thinking to yourself, "Wow, this team sounds really great! I wonder what members comprise such an amazing team?"
Luckily for you, I am here to bring you an exclusive interview with a member of this powerful team.
Interviewer: Hello, thank you for taking the time to do this interview.
BurNIng : It's no problem. I was going to meet up with some friends so we could go over to the Prime.WE team house and graffiti giant penises all over it, but that can wait until later.
Interviewer: Haha! Great! It is clear that despite your advanced years, you have not lost your youthful spark!
BurNIng : Yes, that's true. I often get compliments from people on my youthful appearance and demeanor. Most people think I am actually only 22. When I tell them that I am 24 they are shocked.
Interviewer: To what do you attribute your incredible vigor?
BurNIng : I masturbate very frequently.
Interviewer: Very interesting! How often do you masturbate?
BurNIng : I usually masturbate after each meal. It helps me warm up my wrist for practicing Starcraft. Sometimes I let my teammate NalZa do it for me if I am feeling too tired. He is very enthusiastic and always offering to help.
Interviewer: Ah! Such camaraderie! It brings a tear to my eye! Since you mentioned Starcraft, I feel it is only appropriate we delve into that topic. How do you feel your season has gone so far?
BurNIng : It has been pretty successful. I suffered two losses, but I think I could probably have won those games if things had gone my way.
Interviewer: Interesting! So you spend a lot of time analyzing your losses? What do you feel you did wrong in those games?
BurNIng : I don't know. I was pretty drunk so I don't remember them. But I think if I had been sober I could probably have won.
Interviewer: Such confidence! Absolutely inspiring! You used to be a member of team NB, who are currently competing in Proleague. Do you still maintain relationships with any of your ex-teammates?
BurNIng : Of course. We are very close. The environment in the NB team house is very harsh, which I think brought us together and allowed us to form close bonds of friendship.
Interviewer: How would you say the environment in team NB differed from that of your current team?
BurNIng : The manager of the NB house is very strict. He uses electroshock therapy to make sure his players never allow their APM to drop below 300. He also holds their families hostage and will feed them to his pet bear if they don't practice enough. I saw it happen once. He put them in a cement mixer and made a delicious pie before he fed it to the bear. Watching it made me a little bit hungry.
Interviewer: Unconventional methods, perhaps, but none can deny their effectiveness!
Well, that concludes this interview. I would like to thank BurNIng for his time. And thank you, the reader, for your support!
If you would like to request any questions to be asked in future interviews, please do so.